


Compromise

by waywardangel (leviarty)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Getting Together, M/M, They say a lot while saying a little, probably; it's not directly related to that episode but it can and probably should be read that way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:13:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29196657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leviarty/pseuds/waywardangel
Summary: Meeting in the middle might not be an option, but they can find a compromise
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 48





	Compromise

It was always something.

No, actually, that wasn’t true. Cas was steady. He was the rock that helped Dean balance all the shit that was happening around them. When he couldn’t talk to Sam, Cas was there. Hell, there had been plenty of times he’d gone to Cas first.

Cas was his lifeline. The person who kept him grounded and sane.

But when shit hit the fan, as it inevitably did—

“I’m gonna go,” Cas said, his voice more even than it had been a moment ago. His features had fallen neutral, no longer readable. Dean hated how he could do that, just drop every semblance of emotion like none of it had been real to begin with.

“Yeah, you always do,” Dean said, shaking his head.

Cas had started too turn, but stopped, bringing his eyes back to meet Dean’s. The hunter adverted his gaze.

“You’re angry,” Cas said. Dean snorted at the obviousness of that statement. “I stay—you’re angry and we keep fighting. I try to leave—then you’re angry about that too. No matter what I do, it’s the wrong choice. I don’t… I don’t know what you want from me, Dean.”

“I just want you!”

Silence.

Dean’s mouth fell open as he realized what he’d said a moment too late.

“What?” Cas asked.

Dean didn’t look at him, _couldn’t_ look at him. “Forget it,” he said, turning to head deeper into the bunker.

Cas’ voice, now soft where it had once been harsh and firm, stopped him. “Dean.”

Dean shook his head, still unable to face him. “Just go,” he said quietly. All his anger had faded, the only thing that was left… he didn’t know.

“No.”

Dean closed his eyes, fighting back against everything. When he opened them again, Cas was standing in front of him. His features were no longer hiding behind the mask he’d put up, but Dean still couldn’t read him.

“What did you mean?”

Dean let out a huff, sounding almost like a laugh. “You know what I meant.”

Cas nodded slowly. “I think so, yes. But I’d like to hear you say it.” His hand came up to rest on Dean’s cheek, and despite himself, Dean didn’t pull away.

He felt his stomach churn. “Stop. Don’t toy with me. That’s not fair.”

Cas shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I’m not,” he said softly. His thumb brushed along Dean’s chin as the hunter furrowed his brow in confusion. “If this is what you want, you can have it.”

Dean swallowed thickly. He couldn’t know what he was saying. “Cas—”

“I want it, too.”

Dean’s mouth fell open in surprise. He searched his eyes, trying to understand. “ _What?_ ”

Their eyes found each other, and Cas smiled again. “I never wanted to leave, Dean. I wanted you to ask me to stay.”

Dean furrowed his brow again. “Why?”

“Because I don’t know how I fit here, Dean. My place in your life isn’t definite like Sam’s is. When things get difficult… it seems easiest to just remove myself from it. And when you didn’t protest…”

“You assumed it was what I wanted.”

Cas nodded. “I realize now, the error in my thinking. The error in our communication.”

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone you love walks away from you. Sam, your father, your mother. Me. But you were never going to ask any of us to stay, because you don’t want to feel like you are asking too much.”

“Gee, thanks for the psychoanalysis,” Dean said, but there was no venom to his words—maybe there should’ve been, under any other circumstance there would’ve been. But now, with his fingers clenched around Cas’ coat, and Cas touching his face as he was… Dean was tired. Tired of fighting, tired of pretending. “I didn’t want you to stay just because I asked you to.” He wanted him to stay because it was what he wanted.

“And I just wanted you to ask me to.”

Dean let out a sigh, nodding slowly. “Maybe we can meet somewhere in the middle?”

Cas shook his head. “I’m not sure there is a middle to meet at.” Dean’s face fell, but before he could protest, Cas was speaking again. “I think we both need to alter our expectations. I can accept that you want me here, even when your words seem to indicate the opposite. But sometimes… sometimes I need to hear you say it.”

Dean thought about it for a moment before nodding his head. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. I think I can do that.”

Castiel slipped out of the bed as Dean was dozing off to sleep, but he didn’t make it far before Dean’s fingers wrapped around his wrist. Dean looked up at him, meeting his eyes as they turned back to him. He held his gaze, begging silently, hoping that it was enough. His fingers squeezed around Cas’ wrist for a moment before releasing him.

Cas nodded, and climbed back under the blankets, facing Dean. Dean smiled and closed his eyes again. “I thought you didn’t like it when I watched you sleep?”

“I lied.”


End file.
